Think of the Ducks!

I love ducks. I grew up with a muscovy duck when I was a kid - he followed me around, protected me from all sorts of bugs, and I fed him worms. His name was Buddy, and he was a good duck, as ducks go; faithful, loyal, and smart. My mom had gotten him from an egg catalog; she was interested in getting a few ducks for eggs (duck eggs are tasty!), and ducks are generally quieter than chickens are in an in-town environment. The male spousal unit calls them "meatface" ducks, because of the red around their beaks, and has promised me that when we get an actual home of our own, he's got no problem with me raising a duck or two. They keep the mosquitos down, and slugs, and other irritating bugs.

 

Aren't they cute?

The A- Word (and I don't mean atheism)

Stepping on an acorn and cracking it is not contributing to deforestation, or claiming that trees don't have a right to exist, or preventing other acorns from the same tree from sprouting and creating other trees. It's not preventing the tree from which the acorn fell from being a whole tree - in fact, it's allowing resources to go to strengthening the fruiting tree, instead of causing competition between that tree and another.

Death

When I was 24, my mother died. I had known she was dying for only three months before; she was never one to be particularly open about what was wrong with her. I didn't find out until after she died that she'd spent a week in the hospital - she told my little brother - at the time, 17 - not to tell me. In fact, he was under strict orders not to tell me anything. He had so much more time with her before she died. I lived about 100 miles away, but not knowing there were any issues with her health, I didn't think about heading out to see her.

She was diagnosed with emphysema. It's not particularly surprising that she had it; she'd smoked for neigh onto 40 years when she died (She was 60 at her passing). I always assumed that it would be the alcohol that would kill her; she was a barely-functioning alcoholic, and I can't count on my hands the number of times, after I got my driver's license, that I had to come pick her up at the local bar. But, she died of a heart attack, brought on by the COPD associated with the disease.

Statistical Evidence - Atheism as a Null Hypothesis

I've taken a few statistics classes. I find stats to be fascinating, and I can't precisely pin down why. I think it's the purity.

Yes, data can be manipulated, changing the statistical outcome. Yes, the statistical outcome can be reframed to the biases of the user. But the statistical process itself is undeniable. Input goes in, action performed, input goes out. Quantitative data is solid, and less open to interpretation, whereas qualitative data leaves plenty of squish room.

I don't want you to feel guilty

I don't want you to feel guilt for things that are well outside your control.

Believe it or not, guilt is not my goal.

I know that the privilege you get from all those statuses that you were born with or accidentally ended up with aren't your "fault". But that's sort of what makes them a privilege. The less-privileged didn't try to end up with their statuses, either.

Really. Don't feel guilty.

Just take a moment and think - how can I use my privilege for good, as opposed to using it for nothing, or my own self-serving ends?

Guilt gets you nowhere, and generally makes you more resistant to actually doing any good with yourself.

If you don't like the fact that you have privilege, well, you can not like it all you want. Unless you either change those things about you that give you privilege (skin color, age, sexuality, gender, etc.), or change the system that gives you that privilege, you're stuck with it. And you're stuck with the fact that it's not a meritocracy.

I am not a feminist.

'Cept I am.

Sort of.

It's complicated. ::heavy sigh::

After I just did that post a few days ago... I've had a radical change of heart. Sort of.

So below is a huge big ol' chunk of stuff from bell hooks, who I adore. Before we get there, though, a little bit of reflection.

I've been taking two women's studies courses this term - and I haven't even been as insufferable as I thought I would be. And as I glance around at the WS students, I realize just how identity-driven the word feminist is.

Also, why a huge portion of the 3rd-wave feminism seems to miss the point of feminism completely. I admit, I was pretty blind to it myself. The meaning of the word has been watered down. I'm not an essentialist radfem, by any means, but I definitely think that there's something that so many peers of mine miss by claiming the title feminist. As though, because they are now feminists, every action they take is a feminist action. Every decision they make is a feminist one. And so on.

And that's bullshit.

Ettiquette ProTip:

If you have to start a sentence with

"I don't mean to be rude, but..."

"No offense, but..."

"Not to be mean, but..."

"I mean no disrespect, but..."

or really any sort of

"Qualifyingstatementhere, but..."

STOP. Really, I mean it. Stop. Don't finish that sentence. Because you sound like an ass. Really. If you have to stop and qualify what you're about to say, think for just one second about how you would feel if it were being said to you.

If you're totally okay with sounding like a complete asshat, go ahead. Continue. But drop the disclaimer; it's really just pointing out what a tool you're going about to be.

Oh, and special attention should be paid to

"I'm sorry, but..."

and

"I'm sorry you were offended, but..."

if this is an apology. That is not an apology. If you are qualifying your apology with something like "I'm sorry but you're wrong," You're not sorry. You're sounding condescending. If you're qualifying your apology with "I'm sorry you were offended, but..." you're not actually sorry about what you did at all. Even if you think you're in the right. Even if you think offering a hollow apology is better than nothing. Guess what? It's not. Because you're not acknowledging anything that you may have done to cause pain to another person, and you're not accepting that your actions have consequences.